


grace

by agitatedstates



Series: high as hope [1]
Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, M/M, Modern AU, ignis is kinda falling apart, inspired by grace by florence and the machine, no magic no prophecy just good old fashioned angst, prompto and gladio are mentioned, they talk about feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-20
Updated: 2018-07-20
Packaged: 2019-06-13 11:02:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15363177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agitatedstates/pseuds/agitatedstates
Summary: Ignis’ responses lack his usual nuance, the refinement Noctis remembered from before he went off to university. It’d been a long time since they’d last talked. He was different now, like he was two seconds away from falling apart.orignis is a mess and noct finally gets his shit together.





	grace

“I’m sorry I ruined your birthday” 

Blood has stopped coming out of Ignis’ nose and has dried up, but his nose doesn’t seem broken. His eye hasn’t swelled up, but part of his high cheekbones has started to bruise on the right side. Noctis doesn’t even remember the fight starting, but he still remembers the way the guy was pummelling Ignis, and how he barely had a chance to fight back.

“It was getting boring anyway” Noctis sits next to him on the sidewalk, barely covered from the cold night air. “How’s your nose?” 

Ignis snorts, but the way he flinches at the sound makes Noctis reconsider the thought that it wasn’t broken.

“Been better” 

Ignis’ responses lack his usual nuance, the refinement Noctis remembered from before he went off to university. It’d been a long time since they’d last talked, but Noctis was more than excited for his childhood friend to come back home, for his birthday too! But Ignis was different. Like he was two seconds away from falling apart, and it scared Noct.

“I- I dropped out of university” Noctis had suspected it, didn’t buy whatever bullshit excuse Ignis made up about coming home for his friends 20th birthday, but it’s still scary to hear him talk about it. “After my mother-” Ignis chokes up for a second, squeezes his eyes shut to fight tears back “After my mother died, I didn’t have a reason to do anything anymore. I only ever wanted to make her proud of me” 

“Ignis-” 

Noctis doesn’t know what to say, what to  _ do.  _ He doesn’t even remember his own mother, but Ignis’ mother was as much a parent to him as his own father. He’s always been emotionally stuck, unable to express things, its why he had always envied Ignis’ way with words, how careful and calculated he was

“I hated it Noctis, I hated law, I hated the people, I hated-” Ignis actually looks at him now, and the streetlights look like a halo around him, and despite the bruising and blood, Ignis is as breathtaking as ever. “I hated being away from you. Probably more than anything else.”

Noctis heart skips a beat, and he tries to squash down the hope building up. it isn't what he thinks it is.

“Come on specs, i’m not that special” 

Ignis looks sad when he says it, and Noct regrets it. He never wants Ignis to look that sad again.

“You’re special to Prompto and Gladio, you’re special to Luna. You’re special to  _ me _ .” there’s something in the way he says Luna that makes Noctis gut twist, “this thing between us, it’s the only thing i’ve ever had any faith in, Noctis. You’ve been my constant. You’re so loved” 

Maybe it’s the alcohol in his system, maybe it’s the way Ignis looked at him, or the way he said  _ us,  _ said  _ loved.  _ Suddenly they go from apart to kissing, messy and more teeth than Noct wanted but god it’s perfect. Noctis holds Ignis head in his hands, and there’s hesitation before Ignis grabs him back, pulling him closer to him. 

Noctis forgets where he is, that they’re in public, a block away from a club they got kicked from. It’s a warm August night, the final nights of Summer before Autumn comes and changes the air, its 2am and Noctis is in Ignis’ lap and  _ kissing him.  _

“Let’s go home Iggy, come home with me” 

Noctis couldn’t forget the way Ignis looked at him if he tried, and he loves him, god he loves Ignis more than anything in the world. He thinks Ignis loves him too. 

“I’ll always come home to you Noctis”

* * *

Ignis wakes up in Nocts apartment, Noctis tangled around him and sleeping. The curtains are thick and there’s no clock, so he doesn’t know the time, but for once Ignis doesn’t seem to care. It’s a true testament to how much Noctis loves to sleep that he doesn't even have an alarm clock, but Ignis still thinks its early enough to sleep again.

Noctis’ head is on his chest, and suddenly tears threaten to well up in his eyes again. Ignis has spent the past six months feeling like a failure, isolating himself. He never even replied to Nocts messages, any of them, because he felt like he didn’t deserve it. He still doesn’t know how he could deserve this. Losing his mother hurt more than Ignis could have imagined, and the depression he’d been fighting off the better half of his degree seemed to consume him. He needed to come home, to Noctis, to his friends, though he’s not so sure he deserves it. Ignis threads his fingers through Nocts hair, somehow still soft despite the sweat and product. He always thought Noctis would be soft, whenever he allowed himself to indulge in the fantasy, but it doesn’t compare to this. 

He gets lost in the process of running his hand through Nocts hair and holding him close, and he just hums to himself as he waits. Sleep doesn’t seem to be coming to claim Ignis any time soon, but for once it doesn’t frustrate him. There’s nowhere else he would rather be than with Noct right now.

Noctis starts to grumble on his chest, and Ignis tries to hold back the laughter at the way it reverberates through his chest. It’s a sure sign that Noctis is waking up, and Ignis knows better than to rush it.

“Rrr you singin’?” the words slur out of Noct, mumbled into Ignis bare chest. He allows himself to laugh a little, but he kisses the top of Nocts head as he responds. 

“Yes, just a little bit. I was thinking about you, if it means anything” 

Noctis buries himself further into Ignis’ chest, but he can see the way the tips of his ears are turning red with his blush.

“I think i know the song” Noctis is more awake now, but there’s still a hint of sleepiness in his words. “Thanks for coming back home. I was worried when you never returned my calls”

It was Ignis’ turn to blush now, more out of shame than anything else now. He always meant to call Noct back, but picking up the phone seemed terrifying.

“I should have called, I shouldn’t have shut you out. It was… unkind of me to do that you.”    
Noct scrunches up his nose at that, like he’s offended by it.    
“Shut up, don’t make this about me, you weren’t okay. Are you-” he stops, struggling to make the words come out “are you okay now?” 

It doesn’t seem to be how Noct wants to word it, and it’s a loaded question. Ignis knows that Noctis would understand, more than anyone else in his life. The expectations, the anxiety, the burden of not being  _ enough.  _ It’s a hard question to answer when you’re definitely  _ not  _ okay, but Ignis wants to be honest.

“I’m okay when I’m with you, everything else I can work on”

Noctis groans, and Ignis knows its cheesy and lame, but it’s easier to say that then to discuss  _ therapy  _ and acknowledge his grief. 

“Did- did you start that fight cos you aren’t okay?” 

Ignis flinches, which reminds him of the way his face hurts.

“I overheard him say some… rather choice words about you. I thought i’d tell him where to go, but he didn’t like it very much. I’d rather it be me than you.” 

Noctis is still looking up at him, bright blue eyes that seem to stare right through him. 

“Don’t get yourself beat up in clubs for my honour, okay? I can defend myself” Noct reaches up one of his hands to Ignis face, ghosting over the bruising. “You could have fought back”

Ignis just hums, and rubs Nocts back. Noct huffs, but doesn’t press further. 

“You know, Luna has a girlfriend now. You don’t have to sound so jealous when you talk about her.” 

The comment seems completely out of the blue, and Ignis splutter at the indication. He barely remembers mentioning her, it must have been hours ago, but he pretends he doesn’t know what he means.

“I was never- why would you think- i’m not jealous.” 

He realise he always was jealous, but Noctis and Luna never really  _ dated  _ dated, and it was high school. He can’t even recall them kissing. 

“We both knew we were gay, it just got people off our backs” Noct is back to resting on his chest, tracing idle patterns with the tip of his finger. “I remember one day you walked into my house, and I  _ knew,  _ but I kinda always knew. I never looked at Luna the way I looked at you.”

“Noctis” it’s almost spoken like a warning, and Ignis can’t seem to figure out how to respond. “I think i’ve always loved you” Noctis finger stops, and he spreads out his hand to cover his heart. “I never could love someone else like I love you. I’m sorry i didn’t call” 

Ignis is trying not to cry and Noctis looks up at him and smiles so  _ wide.  _ “I love you too. I always have” 

Ignis has a lot to work on, mostly on himself, but he’s relieved that he still has Noctis, and he leans down to kiss him, and they’re both smiling as Noctis moves up to meet him.

"happy birthday Noct"

**Author's Note:**

> this is the first time ive written noct/ignoct cos ive always felt more comfortable writing prompto and iggy (hence the promnis lmao) but ive been listening to the new florence and the machine album and felt inspired to write some ignoct. florence has always been a big influence on my writing so it makes sense, so enjoy!
> 
> also this is the first thing ive written for an ignoct compilation series im planning so uhh stick around for that i guess.
> 
> twitter: pitiossruins  
> tumblr: transignisscientia


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